Pain and Suffering

This is Riley.

Photo by Sarah

He was the first dog in my life who was really mine, and he was a Good Dog. For many years, we went everywhere together - hiking and road tripping, college and therapy work and training classes - all sorts of adventures. Riley die too young, as so many do, from cancer.

But many years before he died, when he was only a puppy of five or six months, Riley was diagnosed with a disease called hypertrophic osteodystrophy. Essentially, the bone in Riley's joints went haywire while he was growing up. Some bones didn't receive the nutrients they needed while others grew too much. This caused Riley's joints, particularly the ones in his front legs, to twist and eventually fuse. As maybe you can imagine, this is not a pleasant process. Riley was in pain every day of his too short life.

But I do not believe that Riley suffered.

He loved to run. He always walked with a limp, but once he moved up to a trot, his awkward gait disappeared, and he was as lovely to watch as any sight hound. And he swam as well as any lab. He loved to eat. Anything. He was my first raw fed dog, and he never turned up his nose at anything I put in his bowl. In seven years, he never turned down a single meal and ate quite a few things I would never had considered dog food. Riley loved to adventure; he was always up for a walk or a trip to grandma's or even just a drive to the grocery store. He loved people. He loved dogs. He loved the world with a passion that would be ridiculous on any human. To Riley, everyday was a new joy.

Riley taught me the difference between pain and suffering. From him, I learned that pain is physical, but suffering is spiritual. While we may hurt, there is still fun to be had in the world, always a new adventure around the corner - so long as we are open and willing to seek it. Our bodies are to be listened to and considered but not allowed to have the final say on our joy. Our pain, while it may limit us, does not need to be our defining characteristic.

I'm grateful that Riley came into my life when he did because it seems that since he and I met, I have only grown older (go figure). And this becoming old thing is certainly not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. I have pain. My wrist aches when the weather changes. My chest gets tight, and sometimes it's hard to breath. Today, my knees feel as if they are rusting from the inside out like metal left too long in the wet. I hurt.

But today - right now - the sun is also shining. There's a light breeze, and a warm bulldog in my lap. I have a good book to read. There's a cupcake in the kitchen calling my name.

And I do not suffer.

Photo by Sarah